We Ain't Playin'!

Today in Fluids I learned to expect the unexpected from my professor, as if I hadn't already learned this, but I suppose I was retaught this lesson again. Just so that we're entirely on the same page about which professor I'm discussing, this is the professor who hates being interrupted yet, goes away randomly to retrieve objects from his office that are completely unimportant to lecture, carries around black pepper in his pocket, brought in a super soaker to demonstrate Bernoulli's principle, and hardly, nay, never smiles. Today with about five minutes left in class, in a very annoyed tone, he says to a guy sitting in the front row, "Tell that gentleman to wake up", said guy taps thrice upon the chair of respective man of gentleness, professor asks now the disgruntled, awakened student, "Are you with us?", said student replies, "Yeah..." I had no idea he had it in him. GG prof.

Gotta Catch 'Em All

Today I learned about the use of Pitot tubes to determine the velocity of a fluid. More importantly, I learned that when you have a Scottish professor, who tends to speak rapidly, and if you squint your ears ever so delicately, the words 'Pitot tube' sound rather similar to Pikachu.

Pioneering

Today whilst listening to a series of lectures on the history of the English language when I learned why American English is indeed far superior to our 'true' English ancestors: making up whatever you need without concern for established grammar. I have done so in the past, as you may remember, but I think this example is truly, dare I say, the bees knees. An American financier told a British traveler, "Sir, If I should have done so, I should not only have doubled and trebled, but I should have fourbled and fivebled my money!" That's a big F U to establishment.

A Voice from the Past

Today in MSE 2001 I learned how excited I can get from the words "sodium metal." Freshmen year, Ryan and I were fortunate enough to be in the same Chemistry class. Little did we know how fortunate we exactly were, until the day that our professor introduced the concept of extreme reactivity to water. So it turned out, much to our amusement, that some metals, the ones that are very electropositive (i.e. - sodium, calcium, lithium, potassium) are extremely and violently reactive with water and apparently after some research rubidium and cesium are even more so. Well after being turned down when we asked him if he could help us acquire some of these metals, our hopes were crushed. But today, when my professor awoke me from my light dozing with the words, "well, we don't use sodium metal very much...(fading into a very low voice)..because its dangerous...(even lower now)....and explosive." Needless to say, my heart smiled.

Vortex

Today in Fluid Mechanics I learned that when streamlines are circular this signifies the presence of a vortex. Our professor wanted to show us the miracle of the vortex, as if we haven't already seen one, you know, all the time, so he stopped lecture to go to his office and find the classic dual coke bottle 'hour glass' filled partially with water. This silliness coming from the professor who has absolute disgust for any questions posed during his lecture; any sort of interruption clearly irritates this man, and off he disappears for roughly five minutes to find said instructional prop. When he returns, he shows us how the vortex forms and explains the fluid mechanics behind the phenomenon, which is amazing, I suppose, if you're in fourth grade. He then tells us that the particles nearer to the vortex move with a greater velocity than those farther away. And in order to more clearly illustrate the velocity gradient to the class, he said he should add some other distinct particles to the apparatus. Luckily, he had a jar of black pepper in his pants pocket. As soon as he pulled it out, I asked him (you must know how I love pepper), "Oh, you too carry around black pepper all the time?" He said to me, "Well, you're never know when you're going to need it." Truly, I say, a man after my own heart.

Pencils

Today in MSE 2001 I learned about polymorphic crystals. My professor was explaining that there are certain substances that when crystallizing will form into totally different crystal structures under varying conditions. For instance, Carbon can form into diamond when crystallizing, but in contrast it can also form into graphite, which is "what cheap pencils are made out of," can you imagine not being able to use a diamond pencil? It just breaks my heart to think of children living in third world countries who have to go through life using graphite pencils. I know how truly lucky I am to live in a country in which I don't have to suffer the misfortune of fumbling through compositions with the burden of a graphite pencil.

Long Division

Today in construction materials I learned about the determination of yield stress when discussing stress-strain curves. The professor was explaining that the standard method to find the yield stress is to use the .002 offset rule. This means, once you have a stress-strain curve, go to the x-axis and go to the value of .002, now travel in a line parallel to your proportional region of deformation and once you cross the original line, there you will find the yield stress. The only reason I even bring this is up is to point out the fact that I am some sort of a mathematical genius. The professor said, "So that's 0.002, Anyone know what percent that is? Anyone good at that sort of thing?" It was then I knew my glory day had come. Little did she know that I have already received my Master's degree in long division (my thesis paper was on dividing by 100!) I stood atop the desk, my heart ablaze with a passion to burn the sun, and said loudly, "Yes, Madam. I know. It is Zero-Pointe-Two Percent!" Suddenly a hush broke the clicking of calculator buttons. And then, like it were out of some marvelous film, someone (thank you) started the slow clap. The heavens rejoiced and I was crowned king among mere subjects. oh wait, no, shit, that was actually...nothing.

Miller Indices

Today in MSE2001 I learned how to draw directional vectors and planes inside of cubes using Miller Indices. While this may sound like an exciting dive into the world of atomic geometry, I must tell that you it is so much more. It is a pathway of illumination and self-discovery. For instance, Lacey found her inner harmony through coloring in the determined planes, and I taught children how to read using Miller Indices, so you can see what a great inspiration it is upon society. Also this. (yes, I realize that's not really a feasible plane, but it was early, so please forgive me)

Cafeolette

Today I learned that being a connoisseur of coffee does indeed merit its snobbish undertones. Today, I purchased and used a coffee press to make a very rich, delicious brew of coffee. The process is rather simple and somewhat archaic (no electricity needed). One begins by putting water aboil, and once the water is boiling, coarsely ground coffee is poured into the bottom of the coffee press and the hot water is poured in afterwards. Be careful that the cafeolette is not cold (the glass will explode). Carefully stir the slurry until there is a nice foam atop the mixture, now wait four to five minutes for the coffee to steep. Now take the plunger/filter and slowly press the coffee (weird, huh?) This leaves the grounds on the bottom separated from the goods. There you have it. I must say that you should be careful though. Drinking coffee prepared from said method may induce other elitist tendencies (i.e. - blogging, using a Mac, wearing toilet water, etc.).

Invisarbol

Today I learned that you don't have to be Shakespeare or Chaucer to make up words. In fact, whenever necessary (like say if there is no single word to describe whatever it is you're intending to describe), it is prefectly acceptable to add new words to the English language. This is not slang, nor is it grammatically incorrect. This is how language is formed. My most recent addition to the English language is this word: Invisarbol - noun - A tree that is translucent or fading to invisible. Origin: invis- from the English invisible, arbol - from the spanish word for tree, árbol. (if you know much about Chaucer, you will undoubtedly know of his infusion of french and latin into middle english, so thanks for the pioneering Geoff.)